"לא היו ימים טובים לישראל כחמשה עשר באב וכיום הכיפורים" " There were no better days for Israel than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur."
As Yom Kippur approaches, many of my clients call with anxiety, asking, "What should I do? Yom Kippur is COMING!!" This sentiment seems quite different from the teaching above, which considers Yom Kippur one of the Jewish calendar's greatest days.
Rav Fanger explains this apparent contradiction beautifully. Having a day to cleanse our souls and start anew is one of H’shem's greatest acts of chesed. The correct approach to Yom Kippur is to release all our misdeeds and mistakes from the past year through genuine teshuvah (repentance).
In return, H’shem purifies our souls, allowing us to begin afresh. This cleansing process is accomplished by sincerely approaching H’shem with regret, love, and commitment to self-improvement. Rav Fanger emphasizes that our most powerful tool is our speech. With our words, we beseech Hashem for our lives and future. However, our mouths must be pure for our prayers to be properly received.
It's important to remember that wrongs we've committed against others aren't erased merely by repenting to H’shem. We must address these individually by seeking mechilah from those we've hurt. Now is the time to review our relationships with family, neighbors, friends, and coworkers to ensure we haven't caused pain to any of them.
If you're holding a grudge, recognize that it burdens your own soul and affects your well-being. Rav Fanger teaches that there are two sides to every disagreement, and often a reasonable explanation exists that can facilitate forgiveness and healing. If you're anxious about reaching out to someone for fear of rejection, remember that in Jewish tradition, H’shem stands with the one who takes the initiative toward peace. Even if you face criticism, you'll have H’shem's support—and what greater blessing could we ask for?
Recent years have given the entire world a new perspective on life. Most of us now appreciate our health, livelihoods, and freedom of movement more deeply. We should channel this awareness into releasing petty grievances, recognizing that our future isn't entirely within our control.
Rav Fanger shares a powerful story from the aftermath of 9/11. A couple argued on the morning of September 11th, with the husband leaving in anger. When he called later, his wife, still upset, let the voicemail answer. Shortly afterward, she watched in horror as the towers collapsed, knowing her husband was inside. When she frantically tried his phone without success, she played his message and heard his final words of love and regret about their argument. Then came the devastating sounds of the towers falling.
This story reminds us that life isn't about being right, but about living each moment righteously. Now is the time to correct our mistakes and enter Yom Kippur with Hashem's blessing.
May we all be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a good year.
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