Love is not about asking someone to do something difficult or inconvenient for you, and them doing it despite saying no. Love is not about receiving gifts, being taken places, or getting things because someone loves you.
The Torah tells us to love H'shem with all our hearts and soul.
I chose to be a life strategist rather than a licensed therapist, even though I have a certification in CBT, I received my license as an addiction counselor and was in a Master's program. Until the Torah gives me a degree, I prefer to be a strategist and use the Torah as my knowledge and frame of reference.
How can the Torah tell us to love? Without delving into all the Shailos and Teshuvos, let's look at what love is on a basic "human" level.
Love is wanting the one you love to succeed, accomplish their goals, and be happy. It's doing whatever you can to facilitate, encourage, and help them. Love is NOT about what others can do for you.
If you have difficulty "feeling" love towards your spouse, parents, children, job, or G-d, ask yourself if it's because you feel they're blocking you from what you want or need.
That is not love, and it will never be.
Love for G-d is wanting His name to be great in the world—for all of humanity to stand and shout He is One. For everyone to recognize that He is holding this world up with no strings, no safety net, just floating in the atmosphere as it has for 5785 years.
When I want the world to recognize that for His sake alone, that is love.
But if I feel I'm not getting what I want, then that love will be blocked.
What a mistake.
Because when I make the one I love great, I in return become great.
To all my young clients out there, to all of humanity: STOP focusing on what you need.
You will become great when you lift your head from your- I-Phone, -I-Pad, your goals, your needs, and your boundaries, and recognize that when you make your partner, child, family, nation, universe, and G-d great, you in return will then feel what true love is.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
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