Tonight is the fifth night of Chanukah, which means there are more lights than not - more goodness than darkness. Let's take a moment and ask:   Who is extinguishing your light? Is there someone in your life who pulls you down when you're trying to build yourself up ? They may not even realize they're doing it. Maybe you're doing it to others, or even to yourself, without realizing it. Have you ever come up with an idea, wanted to start something new, or shared something you heard - and the person you're talking to makes a face like "yeah right" or laughs? Makes a comment they think is helpful, but it actually dims your enthusiasm? Maybe you're doing it to someone else, or even to yourself. You come up with a plan, a schedule, an idea - and at some point, out of fear of failure or worry that it will just be another failed attempt, you extinguish your own light or someone else's. Remember: H'shem is the One who determines the end result. A...

When we move through life focused primarily on what we expect to happen or what we feel we deserve, we create a dangerous mental trap for ourselves. Every unmet expectation becomes a tiny wound to our happiness, slowly accumulating over time. Think about it - when we expect a promotion and don't get it, or assume our partner should intuitively know what we want, or believe our lives should have reached certain milestones by now, we're setting ourselves up for disappointment. These expectations act like blinders, preventing us from seeing and appreciating what we actually have. This is where gratitude becomes crucial . Without actively practicing gratitude, we become trapped in a cycle of constantly wanting more while failing to recognize the value in our present circumstances. We might have supportive friends, good health, or simply a warm bed to sleep in, but these blessings become invisible when we're fixated on what we lack. Depression often thrives in this gap betwe...

*How do we access the miracle of the Chashmonaim in our lives?* The secret of their success was that they realized that although they must physically go out to war, they in essence had no power of their own to win it. **A person has to be honest with himself, says Rav Zamir Cohen.** Does he rely on anything else other than H'shem? If one "uses" means such as a job, doctors, army but does not rely on them, he can access the same miracles as the Chashmonaim that produced the Chanukah miracle. We disconnect ourselves from the possibility of having a miracle happen when we switch our reliance to outside sources other than H'shem's trust. **You can "use" everything but trust only in H'shem**. **A person who manages to do this has now risen to the level above nature. To the point that even if he has "Gezeirot Kashot" over his head, says Rav Cohen, they will be annulled.**   H'shem reacts to someone's trust in kind: "If you only trus...

  Rabbi Gladstein teaches that lighting the menorah is unlike other mitzvot. On Sukkot, we shake the lulav. Even without illustrious thoughts, we get credit for doing the mitzvah. A man who puts on Tefillin and says the Brachot has fulfilled the mitzvah even without deep thought and intention. But with the Menorah, the act of lighting is NOT THE MITZVAH. If all I did was light the wick, I did not "light the Menorah." The Mitzvah, says Rabbi Gladstein, is gratitude. How do I express gratitude when lighting? Do I make a sign? Write H'shem a thank you card? I express my gratitude by lighting the Menorah with the intention that lighting is my expression of gratitude. Says Rav Shlomo Zalman, you didn't have the intention, you missed the main part of the Mitzvah. Reb Betzalel Jolty goes so far as to say "Lo Yatza" - it's as if you haven't fulfilled the Mitzvah. It's also important to understand the Bracha and the Al Hanisim that we say by the lighting...

  Believing in Miracles: The First Step to Making Them Happen "I take comfort in the fact that the Torah's attitude, which predates today's positivist trend by four thousand years and will survive it by much longer than that, is one of unabashed optimism. This is the doctrine of bitachon , or trust in G‑d, which the Chassidic master Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch (1789–1866) distilled as the Yiddish adage, Tracht gut, vet zein gut —' Think good, and it will be good.' What this means, says the Lubavitcher Rebbe, is that bitachon , the absolute assurance and conviction that GD will make things good, actually becomes the conduit and vessel that draws down and receives GD's blessings. Positive thinking is not just a way to weather negative occurrences, but actually makes positive results happen." - Chabad.org Yanky Tauber Building on the Rebbe's wisdom , we see that this principle goes beyond mere positive thinking. When we train our minds to have Bi...

  Ever feel like you're drowning in an endless to-do list*? You're not alone. The secret to getting ahead isn't doing more – it's doing what matters most. *Think of prioritizing like packing a suitcase*. You can't take everything, so you choose what's essential. The same applies to your time and energy. Here's how to master the art of prioritizing: *Start with the Big Rocks* Just like you'd put large rocks in a jar before adding pebbles and sand, tackle your most important tasks when your energy is highest. These are usually the projects that move you toward your long-term goals or have the biggest impact on your life. *Use the 2-Minute Rule* If something takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. Quick wins clear mental clutter and prevent small tasks from piling up into overwhelming mountains. *Learn to Say "Not Now*" "*Not now" is more powerful than "no*." It acknowledges that while something might be worthwhile, it...

As Chanukah approaches, the air fills with talk of miracles and endless possibilities . Yet for some of us, the weight of our challenges makes even taking a deep breath feel like a monumental task. How do we bridge this gap between believing that a miracle is possible and coping with our daily struggles? Consider this powerful metaphor:  Just as an author can write any ending they choose for their story, would we, as one of the characters in the story, question the author's ability?  Doubt his capability for salvation to unfold? We are all characters in H'shem's grand narrative.   He chooses  how the story unfolds   H'shem's capacity for creating  miracles  is just a pen stroke away .   The secret lies in understanding that we are only bound by nature if we choose to confine ourselves within its limitations . When we dare to peek over the hill of our current circumstances and truly believe that everything we yearn for awaits us on the ot...

  When Life Disrupts Our Rhythm: Finding Our Way Back * Routine is so important in our daily lives. For the past three days, I have been completely off my daily schedule. My colleague is here from America, so I had camera crews, filming days, and visiting days on the farms. We traveled through central Israel up to the Lebanese border and into the Gaza envelope. * My days started at 5 AM and finished at 1 AM * . Laundry has been piling up, and my eating, sleeping, davening, and workout schedule is topsy-turvy. I may have said a few words here and there to my kids, * Yet all in all, I know how crucial and important the work I am doing is * . This morning was supposed to be my return to routine, yet I feel so lost. Many of us face this challenge: why is it so hard to jump back in after disruption, and how can we refocus and thrive better than before? The truth is, our routines are like delicate ecosystems. When disrupted, even for just a few days, they can feel impossible to restart. ...

  Why Following a Daily Schedule Is Essential for Mental Health Your daily schedule isn't just about productivity – it's a fundamental pillar of mental health. When we lack structure in our days, our internal biological rhythms become disrupted, leading to cascading effects on our mood, thinking, and emotional stability. The Science Behind Schedules and Mental Health Our bodies operate on a 24-hour biological clock that influences hormone production, energy levels, and mood regulation. When we follow irregular patterns in our daily life, this internal clock becomes misaligned, making it harder for our brain to regulate essential neurotransmitters that affect our mental state. How Schedule Disruption Affects Your Mind When you don't maintain a consistent schedule, several things happen: Your sleep-wake cycle becomes irregular, affecting the quality of your rest Stress hormones like cortisol can become dysregulated Mood swings become more frequent and intense Cognit...

When someone is having a total meltdown, especially children their brain, as *Dr. Dan Siegel explains, is "flipping its lid" – meaning the top, rational part of their brain has gone offline*.  During these intense moments, your response as a parent is crucial. Haden, a certified play therapist, advises that the best thing you can do for both you and the child is to stay in full control of your emotions. If you start yelling, not only will they be unable to hear or process your words, but your out-of-control behavior will set them off completely, transforming a meltdown into battle mode. The best approach to prevent unnecessary emotional damage is to remain calm. Understanding what happens in the brain during these moments is key: when someone "flips their lid," the prefrontal cortex (the rational, thinking part of the brain) temporarily goes "offline," leaving them operating primarily from their emotional brain. By staying calm, you help them regulate...

*We've all been there* – someone says something that triggers us, and before we know it, we're caught in an emotional whirlwind, saying or doing things we later regret. This instinctive response is our amygdala doing what it's designed to do: protect us from threats. The problem is, that this part of our brain tends to be overprotective and overreact. The good news? We can learn to override this automatic response system. Just as our amygdala can hijack our rational thinking, we can take back control through practiced awareness and intentional response patterns. *The first step is recognizing when we're being triggered*. Physical signs often come first – a tightening in the chest, a racing heart, or sudden tension in the shoulders. These are our early warning signals, telling us it's time to pause before we react. *This is where mindful breathing becomes crucial*. When you feel those first signs of emotional flooding, take three deep breaths . Each inhale should ...

*Do you feel sometimes you sabotage your own brain*? Maybe you just don't understand how your particular brain processes. For instance, if you have a Neurotypical brain, you will be motivated by Rewards, Importance, & Consequences. *If on the other hand, you have an ADD/ADHD brain*, you are motivated by Interest, Novelty, Challenges, Urgency, & Passion. *Consequences are not going to speak to you*  (especially an immature) ADD/ADHD brain, particularly if the consequences are far off in the future. For instance, if something you need to take care of is boring, not motivating, or stimulating, you put it off or store it in the back of your brain. Typically, because time and awareness are not your strong qualities  You will forget about it until urgency kicks in - and then you will stress yourself out and probably perform better than anyone else under the pressure. *Sounds familiar*? You can either choose to learn how your brain functions and make it work for you, or beat...

  The alarm clock rings, and I know exactly what I need to do. It's simple, really – just say Modeh Ani and get out of bed.  *No one put me in this position.  I willfully set the time it would ring* . Yet here I lie, engaged in an all-too-familiar battle with my own thoughts. Yesterday's snooze-button saga left everyone scrambling, running late, and starting their day with unnecessary stress.  *I promised myself it wouldn't happen again*. But my brain becomes a masterful negotiator, weaving compelling arguments for "just five more minutes" that somehow stretch into thirty. The temporary comfort of my warm bed against my rational mind screaming in protest, knowing the price I'll pay later. *Laziness is a trap that feels good now but steals our future. Each time we give in, we're training our brain to choose comfort over growth. Here's how to break free* : *The Two-Minute Rule Just start for two minutes* . Don't think about the whole task. Need t...

  The Power of Convenience: Making Daily Tasks Effortless We all know the feeling: you want to get a chore done, but then you think of all the steps you have to take to get it done, and you usually say, "I'll do it later," simply because getting started feels overwhelming. The truth is, the easier something is to do, the more likely we are to actually do it. This simple principle can transform how we approach our daily routines and home organization. The Psychology Behind Convenience When tasks require multiple steps or gathering supplies from different locations, our brain perceives them as more difficult than they really are. By strategically organizing our spaces to minimize these barriers, we can make routine tasks feel almost effortless. Strategic Organization in Action Here's how to apply this principle throughout your home: In the Bathroom Create a cleaning station in every bathroom with: A spray bottle of cleaner Brush Cleaning gloves A Swiffer or s...

  Sometimes we feel life pushes us past our limits. Our throats get tight, our stomach begins to turn. We just want to hide or run. That is the moment of truth - do we fight or flight? Know that when H'shem challenges you, He knows precisely what you are capable of. If you trust Him, not only will you find strength you never knew you had, you will experience a level of emuna and bitachon that you would never have otherwise felt. Three exercises to calm your spirit and strengthen your faith: Breathe: Shut out all the noise and voices that are distracting and making you feel like you can't succeed. Remember: With each step, remind yourself that H'shem is the one who will work this out. You are going through this only to discover your strength, but H'shem is the one who will see it through. Trust the process. Photo by DJ Johnson on Unsplash

When I ask my clients who struggle with weight, health, and body image if they work out regularly, I often get one of two responses: a fabricated answer I can see through, or the honest "I just can't find the time." Here's the reality: overthinking takes more energy than grabbing weights, putting on music, and getting on the floor for 20 minutes. It's not about finding time - it's about jumping in and doing it any time. And science backs this up!  The British Journal of Sports Medicine found that just 150 minutes of moderate exercise OR 75 minutes of intense exercise weekly cuts mortality risk by 31%. Even more surprising? McMaster University research shows that 4-5 minutes of high-intensity exercise daily can lower death risk by 40%! Think about that - just 10-minute workouts can transform your health. University of Texas researchers proved this when they found that three 20-second all-out bursts (within a 10-minute session) boosted fitness by 12% in just 6 ...

You've convinced yourself those diet sodas and low-fat cookies are "better choices." But let's get real – your shopping cart is probably telling a different story. Those "healthy" granola bars packed with sugar? The family-size bag of chips you'll "just have a few" from? We all do it. Here's what's really happening: We're masters of self-deception in the grocery store. We grab the salad kit (good start!) but then load up on "just a few" convenience foods that derail our goals. That organic label doesn't cancel out the fact that it's still processed food . And those "protein" snacks? They're often just candy bars in disguise. The most revealing moment is looking down at your cart before checkout. Those items didn't jump in there by themselves. Each one represents a choice, a habit, and maybe a story you're telling yourself about why it's okay. Want to actually see changes? Start being brut...

Learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings isn't easy, but it's a crucial skill for emotional well-being. Instead of fighting against difficult emotions, we can learn to acknowledge and accept them as natural parts of the human experience. Let's take a common situation: You're driving and feeling anxious because it's taking too long. Here's how to work through it: 1. Ask yourself: Can I change the situation? The ride will take as long as it takes, so fighting that reality only creates more stress. 2. Consider: Is my anxiety helping or hurting? If others are in the car, your anxiety might make the ride unpleasant for them. Plus, anxious driving can lead to mistakes. 3. Recognize your power to choose: You can acknowledge "I'm anxious" while also deciding "I don't want to feel this way right now." Staying anxious is just as much a choice as deciding to shift your emotional state. Instead of staying stuck, try: - Calling a friend - Play...

 🧠 The Science of Happy Cleaning: Mindset Matters! Ever wonder why some people genuinely enjoy cleaning while others dread it? Research shows our mindset during chores dramatically impacts both mental and physical health! When we approach tasks with negativity, our bodies release cortisol (the stress hormone), which can: Weaken immune function Decrease motivation Impair memory and focus Increase muscle tension Lead to anxiety and burnout BUT... when we transform chores into enjoyable activities, we trigger the release of "feel-good" neurotransmitters: Dopamine (reward & motivation) Serotonin (mood & wellbeing) Endorphins (natural stress relief) 3 Science-Backed Tips for Positive Cleaning: Sync movement with music - studies show coordinated motion with rhythm increases endorphin production and creates a natural "high" 🎵 Create social connections - group activities boost oxytocin levels, reducing stress and enhancing mood. Get your househo...