The Mirror Effect: Why Your Inner Work Changes Everything

It is said that Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len healed an entire ward of criminally insane patients using Ho'oponopono – working only on himself. His radical insight? What you feel about someone projects directly onto them.

Shlomo HaMelech wrote: "כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם" – "Like water reflects face to face, so does the heart of man to man" (Mishlei 27:19).

The water doesn't lie. It shows you exactly what you bring to it.

My mentor, H'Rav Fanger, teaches this method in his seminars, and here's the practical application: Before you approach someone – whether it's a difficult conversation, a challenging relationship, or just your everyday interactions – pause. Build up your feelings of love and empathy first. Work on your ahavat chinam. This even works from afar.

Because here's the truth we don't always want to hear:
How others treat you is often a reflection of what you're projecting onto them.

Dr. Hew Len used four phrases: "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."

You have more power than you think. Your inner state isn't just yours – it ripples out and shapes how people respond to you.

So before that meeting, that phone call, that conversation with someone – do the inner work first. Choose ahavat chinam.

Then watch what reflects back

Photo by Manoj Balotia on Unsplash

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