Close your eyes and picture yourself standing on the street corner, waiting for the light to change while store-hopping for Yom Tov. You gaze across the street at the row of familiar stores and notice that one of the stores has a crowd that has gathered in front of it.
Your original plan was to go directly to the store in the middle of the block that caters to your taste. However, what is the likelihood that when you cross the street, instead of heading straight to your preferred store, you make a quick stop at the crowded shop to see what you might be missing?
Why do we gravitate to be part of the crowd? Out of FOMO, Fear Of Missing Out. There is a little voice inside our heads that whispers, "Go see what they know that you don't."
Our tendency to attach ourselves to the masses instead of exercising our individuality can sometimes be misleading, even dangerous, and at other times a helpful tool.
A quick run to pick up a loaf of bread could trigger anxiety when you see the supermarket shelves packed with honey, apples, and pomegranates, indicating Rosh Hashana is almost here and you are not prepared. On the other hand, being part of a workshop geared toward preparing you for Yom Hadin, feeling you belong to something greater than yourself, may compel you to take positive steps you would otherwise not have taken.
I encourage you to share your experience of being a part of the group with others. When they hear that you are actively part of a community working on getting ready for Rosh Hashana, it might trigger the thought that they may want to do the same.
Exercise: Seven-Day Review (Days 8-14)
We will now review the last 7 posts of the Count 40 workshop. This is an important step that will reinforce the ideas we have learned up to now, as well as track your progress. By jotting down notes alongside each point of focus, you can evaluate what needs more concentration and where you see growth.
Day 8: Gradual Improvement
Taking extreme steps in character improvement may prove to be more harmful than good. A successful method of controlling urges is to push them off rather than completely deny them. Going into an all-out battle with the Satan is never a good idea. Instead, push him off in small intervals, and you will likely see success.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 9: The Art of Flexibility
The art of flexibility has tremendous advantages physically and emotionally. The karate instructor's first lesson to his young students is to train the body to relax during a fall, protecting them from injury. Being rigid does not only pose a danger in a physical fall. It has the same effect emotionally. Learning to let go of your needs and expectations by incorporating flexibility will allow you to flow with the rhythm of life, maneuvering gracefully and with dignity.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 10: The Pursuit of Happiness
Being happy has many health benefits, physically and mentally. That being said, I can try as hard as I may, but how do I become happy? Unhappiness stems from feeling a lack, something missing or wrong in the picture I have painted that should reflect my life. That outlook stems from a need for more awareness, gratitude, and appreciation. The real danger of being unhappy is having H'shem pull away His Divine guidance. The Shechina will not reside in a place that does not appreciate how H'shem is running his life.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 11: Respecting Perceptions
The proper way to learn how a thing works is by reading the instructions, and who knows a thing better than its Creator. We are taught that When H'shem created the world, he opened up the Torah and used it as the blueprint for creation. That would reason that the Torah is the instruction book for man. Through the story of Yaakov and Leah, the Torah teaches us that her feeling of being "hated" by Yaakov, although far from the truth, was real, just because that was her perception. I must learn to respect everyone's feelings, interpretations, and perceptions. "There are two sides to every story" should read, "there are two truths to every story," as all experiences are legitimate.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 12: Redefining Failure
Failure does not exist. The Creator of the world, having my best interest in mind, decides the outcome of all my endeavors. Taking action to accomplish my goals, positive or negative, is all that is in my control. If failure were a concept, it would mean I had the power to yield an outcome. If I don't, it must mean that being successful or not is part of the bigger picture, a learning experience teaching me the lessons that are beneficial to me in my life.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 13: Reframing Perceptions
Improving my character requires me to improve my behavior. A major player in my reactions and behaviors are the events that I experience in my life. The key does not lie in the events; the variable is what meaning I attribute to them. Working to improve my perception of the events by seeing them in a positive light will affect their meaning and how I react to them. This process then allows me to reframe and improve my behaviors and personal development.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals:
Day 14: Measuring Success
How I measure success and how you measure it can be one in the same or polar opposites. How, then, do I go about gauging my achievements? The answer lies in the picture or blueprint I drew in my mind of what success looks like. The downfall to that strategy is when the plans I drew up are irrational, making me feel as though I don't measure up.
Communication:
Self-Improvement:
Emuna, Bitachon and Tefilah:
Personal Goals: Photo by Ile Ristov on Unsplash
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