Last Rosh Hashanah, the amount of pleasure you'd receive this year was determined, but not how much you'd enjoy it. Similarly, the suffering you'd endure was decreed, but not how much you'd suffer, says H'Rav Fanger.
Could we have everything, yet nothing? Or nothing, yet everything? What determines happiness in the worst conditions and sadness in the best? Tony Robbins suggests it's your life's "blueprint", the one you imagined and designed for yourself. If you match it, you're happy. The further you stray, the more miserable you become, regardless of circumstances.
Consider this: Have you met someone who is overweight and content, or thin but constantly dieting? Someone "wealthy" who's always complaining about money, or someone scraping by but satisfied? This mini-survey illustrates that happiness is a state of mind.
If the blueprint that you subscribe to dictates you should be "x" (married, financially stable, fitter) and you're not, can you be happy despite other joys? Yes: When you view life as a divine gift and everything in it as a means to serve H’shem, your life gains purpose, knowing you have all you need to excel.
Communication: Your state of mind is evident in how you express yourself. Examine your "mission statements." Do others see you as content or critical? By redefining achievements as progress and moral qualities rather than status and material gains, your communication will reflect joy in both expression and heart.
Self-Improvement: Striving for an ideal "blueprint" can hinder growth. Ensure your goals foster happiness, not neighbor-impressing.
Emuna, Bitachon, and Tefilah: One grounded in trust and belief in H'shem's control radiates joy in all aspects of life. Rabbenu Bachya teaches that the ultimate goal of Emuna and Bitachon is living calmly and happily, knowing H'shem controls and decides what's best for you.
Chazal teaches that a Tefilah filled with happiness, joy, and gratitude, as in Nishmat Kol Chai, where you recognize and praise H'shem for His wonders and generosity, is the ultimate Tefilah.
Conclusion: True happiness comes not from what we possess but from how we perceive what we have. By aligning our expectations with gratitude rather than comparison, we can find joy in any circumstance. When we recognize that everything in our lives is precisely what we need for our spiritual journey, we transform even challenges into opportunities for growth and connection with the Divine.
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