One of my clients wrote me that she received a notice in the mail informing her she was being dropped from her plan because of technical issues.
She started panicking.
She quickly called the company, faxed in paperwork, all while trying to breathe and not yell at anyone. She was saying over her pesukim of bitachon, promising to say Nishmat Kol Chai and Mizmor L'Todah when it all worked out, while waiting for the representative to answer the phone.
"Hello, Mrs... How can I help you?"
My client answered with positivity:
"I know you're the one who can help me. I got thrown off the plan because of a misunderstanding - I am sure you can fix it."
The representative said, "Sure, everything looks fine... oh wait, no, yes, you have been terminated. I see you sent in the paperwork - give it a few days."
PANIC. Deep Breath
Calmly, my client responds, "I am sure you can do something - write a little note, send it to someone in the office."
"No ma'am," she said, "but get back to us next week."
Panic.
So many things going through her head.
Breathe.
Then a voice that sounded like Nahva started talking in my head, she writes:
"If this is what happened, for whatever reason, it is in the plan - maybe not your plan, but the bigger plan. You think you need to be registered on this plan? H'shem says at this moment, No you don't. Whatever is going to happen is exactly what needs to happen, and it will be even better than you thought."
OK, breathing again, she writes.
She goes into the kitchen - her family is there.
Panic.
They all need something from her. Her thoughts start racing. She is about to bite everyone's heads off. Why do I have to take care of everything? Why can't... do... why don't they... what does everyone want from me?
WAIT.
This is not me trusting H'shem. Trusting H'shem looks like this:
I did what I needed to do. I can do nothing else. If I try anything more, I am putting my trust in someone other than Him. This is His plan.
She smiles.
"I'm in love with you, H'shem."
Nahva's voice starts talking again:
"What's more important, this issue or my family?
Do I want to do damage now by saying something I am going to regret all because I am panicking? Shhhhhhh.
What would the best version of me do now? How would I want to react? What do I want to remember about this moment? It may take a bit of time. I may have to jump through some hoops. SO WHAT? Who says those hoops won't be the opening to something even greater and better?
What if this is the entire purpose - To build my muscle of emunah and bitachon? Nothing can happen that H'shem does not want to happen, and if I am truly trusting in Him, I will see the yeshuah.
AIN OD MILVADO."
HHHMMMM...
Breathing,
Smiling,
Trusting.
"I love you, H'shem."
"Thank you, Nahva."
This makes my work worth everything in the world to me.
Everyone is going through something.
Collectively, we all have one answer.
May everyone see their private yeshuot and, as a nation, very soon.
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