I was thinking... What if

I was thinking... What if instead of a Kallah teacher listing all the dos and don'ts, what if she looked at the kallah and with a little grin said:

"Once a month, you have a day that's all about you. Spa, home, mikvah – your choice. A day for you to rejuvenate, and take care of yourself and reconnect with your femininity, to feel beautiful and clean."

Would the mikvah experience have the same scary, overwhelming effect?

What if the Kallah teacher said: "During the time you are forbidden to each other, your husband will probably pull back emotionally. He may not give you the same attention or affection, but this is not intentional. He probably won't ever realize he is doing it. It's his subconscious being overly cautious, making sure he doesn't mess up or cross a line. It's totally normal. This is why we have restrictions; they serve as reminders."

Would the niddah restrictions come across a little less crass?

What if Kallah and Chasan teachers were required to be trained in couples mentoring and could explain to the young couple, among other things: "After marriage, some things may annoy you about your husband/wife. It's okay – those exact things are going to build the love between you".

"You see, when your partner does something that bothers you and they genuinely try to change, you'll find yourself loving them even more for that effort. And when you take the time to understand why something is hard for them, or they do the same for you – that's where real love grows. The fun stuff you both enjoy is great, but that just reinforces what's already there. The real love gets built when you work through the tough stuff together."

If you need lessons to drive a car, you should need lessons to get married and build a family.

Just thinking...

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