Speaking Their Language

Understanding Communication: Speaking Their Language

One of the reasons the sign of Adar features two fish facing each other, says Rabbi Fanger, is because there are always two sides to every story.

When speaking to someone, we should focus less on what we want to say and more on how the person we're talking to will receive our message.

For instance, someone who doesn't have the emotional or intellectual capacity to process complex ideas—such as a young person under 20 or 25 whose prefrontal cortex is still developing—may not "get it" as we expect. Speaking to them in ways they can't understand will only cause frustration for both parties.

We must also recognize whether the person we're communicating with is an emotional thinker or a logical thinker. They might understand best through sight, hearing, or touch, and may miss what we're trying to convey if we don't match their learning style.

This is why when I work with my clients, it's crucial for me to first learn their names and understand their personality blueprint to ensure I'm speaking their language.

If there's someone in your life who you feel "never gets you," doesn't understand you, or doesn't listen, before you give up, try speaking their language—using their tone, their words, and understanding their perspective. You might be surprised with the results.

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

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