Speaking Their Language

Understanding Communication: Speaking Their Language

One of the reasons the sign of Adar features two fish facing each other, says Rabbi Fanger, is because there are always two sides to every story.

When speaking to someone, we should focus less on what we want to say and more on how the person we're talking to will receive our message.

For instance, someone who doesn't have the emotional or intellectual capacity to process complex ideas—such as a young person under 20 or 25 whose prefrontal cortex is still developing—may not "get it" as we expect. Speaking to them in ways they can't understand will only cause frustration for both parties.

We must also recognize whether the person we're communicating with is an emotional thinker or a logical thinker. They might understand best through sight, hearing, or touch, and may miss what we're trying to convey if we don't match their learning style.

This is why when I work with my clients, it's crucial for me to first learn their names and understand their personality blueprint to ensure I'm speaking their language.

If there's someone in your life who you feel "never gets you," doesn't understand you, or doesn't listen, before you give up, try speaking their language—using their tone, their words, and understanding their perspective. You might be surprised with the results.

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

Comments

The Hidden Reason You're Not Feeling Love (It's Not What You Think)

Love is not about asking someone to do something difficult or inconvenient for you, and them doing it despite saying no. Love is not about receiving gifts, being taken places, or getting things because someone loves you. The Torah tells us to love H'shem with all our hearts and soul. I chose to be a life strategist rather than a licensed therapist, even though I have a certification in CBT, I received my license as an addiction counselor and was in a Master's program. Until the Torah gives me a degree, I prefer to be a strategist and use the Torah as my knowledge and frame of reference. How can the Torah tell us to love? Without delving into all the Shailos and Teshuvos , let's look at what love is on a basic "human" level. Love is wanting the one you love to succeed, accomplish their goals, and be happy. It's doing whatever you can to facilitate, encourage, and help them. Love is NOT about what others can do for you. If you have difficulty "feeli...

Compilation of Chanukah Segulot, Kavanot, understanding and practices right here

The Complete Guide to the Segulot of Chanukah Chanukah isn't just about commemorating a miracle from the past—it's a spiritually charged time when the gates of heaven swing wide open, and we have access to supernatural yeshuot and brachot. Here's everything you need to know about the segulot of Chanukah. The Mystical Numerology of Chanukah Yerushalayim and the Lights The navi says: "והיה בעת ההוא אחפש את ירושלים בנרות" - "V'haya ba'et hahi achapesh et Yerushalayim b'nerot" (At that time I will search Yerushalayim with candles). What's the connection? Yerushalayim is mentioned in Tanach 656 times. Nerot in gematria equals 656. And "achapesh" doesn't mean "search"—Hakadosh Baruch Hu says He will bring Yerushalayim to chofesh (freedom). These Chanukah lights will illuminate the geulah for us, the freedom from galut. The 36 Angels We light 36 candles total during Chanukah. There's an astonishing hint in Yes...

Yanuka:Your Tefilot will be "Accepted Immediately" Segulah for the Aseret Yemei Teshuva

In the name of the Yanuka, quoting the Rambam, he advises that one of the biggest segulot during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva is to take a piece of paper and write a specific tefillah that you are asking H'shem to grant you for this coming year. In the name of the Yanuka, his talmid says these days are days of tefillah when H'shem is closest - call out to Him! Cry out to Him everything your heart desires. Make it specific and say it as many as 200 times during the Aseret Yemei Teshuva. Everything can be granted at this time. Pour out your heart in Teshuvah and Bakasha He quotes the Ramabam Rambam Hilchot Teshuva Perek Bet, Halacha vav "אע"פ שהתשובה והצעקה יפה לעולם, בעשרה הימים שבין ראש השנה ויום הכפורים היא יפה ביותר ומתקבלת היא מיד , שנאמר: "דרשו ה' בהמצאו" (ישעיהו נה, ו) . "Even though teshuva and crying out [to H'shem] are good at all times, during the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur t hey are most beautiful and are acce...